I LOVE IT! Inspiring post. I'm getting bits of this as well... I went out and bought a steel guitar. Don't stop posting!

-Ned

Hope everyone is well,

More of the same continues. Any real urge for the drink I have has all but waned to 0. The main urge or attraction I have is some illusion or dellusion that I had a great time drinking before. Before I would go chasing that, now days I know its not there. However, I do use that illusion still today, but its different. I drink only on weekends now, if I drink at all it seems, just works out that way, and the times I do drink is more because my wife wants to go out. Im not really enjoying it much, Id rather be sober at home, hope Im not becomng hermit like. Anyway I have this picture of what a fun time should be and before I got out I look at where we are going who we will be with, and match it up agains this picture I have of a good time. If it doesnt match, the evening really has no appeal to me. Make sense at all?

We went out on Valentines day, I wasnt really counting my drinks, but I cut myself off, because I thought I had a certain amount. As it turns out, thinking back over the evening, I actually had less than I thought lol. I almost feel like I wasted somthing, lol.

The journey continues folks. I am seriously thinking of taking the quit smoking challenge. My wife has not had a cig for over 3 weeks now using Chantix. I will most likely use it too, but I really dont want to mix these two drugs. I am, however, at the point where I could go a month of not drinking (not having to take Nal) and get on the Chantix to kick the smoking habit. At this time I am trying to seriously cut down.

I am starting to see now, that a life truely AL free is very appealing, where as pre TSM was no life at all. Funny how perspective can change how you feel about somthing. (If I think too long on the subject I find it kind of stupid actually. Damn addiction is a messed up thing aint it?) Because Im not addicted any longer an AL free life is starting to become appealing, when I was addicted previously, it was like a sentencing. Life behind dry bars!

There is alot to be grateful for, and I see more and more of that each day.

All my best,

hap

"Life behind dry bars." Great quote.

"Freed by inserting the naltrexone key into the lock!"

Glad you are well.

congratulations hapful! It sounds like one addiction is down and you'll be able to get over the other one. Keep moving forward, we're cheering you on.

corkit

Hi Folks,

Sorry its been so long. I hope everyone has been doing great. I see many new screen names here and am happy to see the familiar ones still here also. Its been almost a year since I started on TSM, so I thought Id pop in and say hi and give an update.

So here we are coming up on July 29th, which is when I started on TSM. I still take Nal at least an hour previous to drinking when I do drink. I still drink. But not like I used to, not even close. I go weeks AF, I think I've gone 6 weeks at one time maybe more. Drinking just isn't important to me in any way. Talk about extinction.

When I think about it, I still associate some "good times" with drinking. So when I get bored, ill think to myself, "it would be fun to go to a bar tonight." Then when I go through the process of actually executing that plan, the enthusiasm wears off. To tell you the truth, lately, and it may be because I haven't been taking Nal (due to not drinking that often), I have been getting nauseous after a few beers, and after just a couple hours of drinking I just want to go home and go to bed. I really don't like that nauseous feeling and I am starting to associate that feeling with drinking. So rather than have that feeling, I would rather just not drink. Some may jump to the conclusion "why don't I just stop taking the Nal so I don't get that nausea?" 1. I still remember how bad it was to not be able to stop drinking. 2. If I was still consumed with the thought of AL then I may actually do that, but drinking just isn't a bid deal anymore. 3. I still remember how bad it was to not be able to stop drinking.

To tell the truth, I started TSM with the hopes that I could still drink. Because, even being a binge drinker, drinking was a very "important" part of my life, be it good or bad. Mostly bad. As I progressed through extinction, I found that I thought of AL in a much different way. It is just an activity, like bike riding, hiking or playing pool. It is something that I choose to do, if I felt like it. So while I got what I wanted in the end, its not exactly how I wanted it. I got my cake and I am eating it too, it just doesn't taste the way I thought it would. I'm not disappointed.

I thought too, that if I got rid of this drinking problem, everything would be roses. That isn't the case either. As the fog lifted, not only did I see things that I neglected to appreciate, but also many of today's problems were mounting up. So rather than running to the bottle, I'm actually dealing with them. I guess what I'm saying is, when the fog lifts don't be surprised when there are still clouds around.

Another odd thing that I doubt will ever change is my thoughts toward a drinking session. I absolutely will not take a Nal with the intention of having only 1 drink. What is the use? If I'm going to take a Nal, then I want to have at least 3-6 drinks. I guess it comes down to why do you drink? My answer is, to feel a buzz. No other reason then that. Only now I choose the appropriate times to get a buzz, which are becoming fewer and farther between.

I have noticed, that I can drink right past the Nal, or through it. If I do shots, I can get carried away fast and watch out, stupidity and horrible hangover, regret feeling the next day. It has happened twice in a year. That's a far cry less than every week.

All in all, TSM did what is advertised. I once was consumed by thoughts of alcohol but now I'm not.

On another note, I see that Chantix has become a topic lately. I just wanted to report that I started Chantix almost 3 weeks ago. I have been smoke free for almost 2 weeks now. I have not taken Nal since being on the Chantix. I used the starter pack to get past the initial withdrawals and cravings in the first week, then I take a pill or half pill every other day or so as my cravings see fit. I just don't want to be loaded up with too many drugs in my system, Nal + Chantix. I still have cravings, and my thoughts toward the subject are, I will never buy a pack of smokes again. Who knows if I take a drag or two during a drinking session. The point is, I will eventually get to the point where smoking does not control what I can and cant do. i.e...exercise and long plane rides lol.

Vice 1 (drinking) check.
Vice 2 (smoking) will be checked.
Vice 3????

With all this new energy from not drinking, and not smoking, I am thinking very hard now about going back to school.

Good luck to all, chins up, and if anyone feels the need to message me via this forum, please feel free.

Hap